tot of d month

Real bored now. thx to my manager,Hae, for makin my shift a total haywire, i m now waitin for my time to work d graveyard shift again (been workin d mornin n aftanoon shift for d past 2 days, so d biological clock goes cacat again )

Frens n sis been complainin my blog bein dull n lifeless. well, cant help much bout tis. aftaall, m plannin to throw tis blog away afta my trip ends.. it's jst meant for ppl to knw wat happened in here,so tat i dn hv to explain over n over again on wat happened to me afta i've return from my trip ( usually, ppl will ask if dey knw i've been to alaska. pretty normal. i would do tat too if i m in deir shoes.haha) Since tis is for public view, esp since my dad is viewin tis too, u cant expect me to write much of my feelin o my crush o watsoever ler.hahha .so sis, paham2 la. :P
but today , hmm.. goin to write my tot afta so long of a period.

I mst said, afta so many weeks of experiencin a diff path of life,i m missin my home d.. i mean , my family,frens, my life.. but nt coll:P but if i were to choose to stay o go bak , i'll still choose to stay. In fact, i m now seriously hopin o even plannin for anader gateaway for myself. I dunwana b protected foreva under anyone's umbrella. Tat's jst so not me. Afta avthing ends, if anyone ask me whether i stil wana stay o return , i 'll say i wana stay . but i wont b long here too. i would b goin other places afta tat. my curiosity is too high n i get bored pretty fast. I knw, dad is real sad avtime i tel him i wana leave my home. I mean , our home.Luckily dad knw me well enuff to actually let me b free in doin things tat i wan to do . else, I'll rebel even more. thx dad for tat!:)Dn worry, no matter whr i go , I m still ur precious doter, n u'll still b my one n only greatest dad of d world!:) but pls, dun tie me up , o i'll rebel more. Let me b free, n I'll come bak wen d time comes:)

Let's see wat I've learnt here. Hmm..I realized I've been real naive all dis while. erm, not to say naive , but rather, yeah! clumsy, forgetful , n thick-skinned(like wat Charles alwizz said.haha) It's really diff workin wit a total stranger environment as compared to workin in own country wit few frens. at least , u cn stil chat wit frens n get ur own alliance. Here, 1st, u need to adopt to deir workin culture.2nd, ure a stranger to avone,n no one knw how old u r. dey alredi hv deir own alliance. so no one wil helps u other den u urself. I used to use my age as a weapon , whereby d elders alwix tend to take care of me more n I dun hv to ask for anythin ( dey will jst provide me almost avthing.haha ) But here, i learnt to survive on my own . Bcame xtremely thick skinned.haha . I realized, If i dun ask for it , I wont get it. If I ask for it, at least I'll hv 50% of chance in gettin it.

Life's unfair. Tat's it. dun ever think tat I m lucky o watsoever. I fight for wateva I want. i fought even harder den anyone else. But not all d time,I'll get d outcomes I want. N now, I learnt nt to work hard but work smart. It's so unfair at 1st wen I've seen ppl gettin more hrs den me n yet does lesser stuff den me. cn ya imagine ppl clockin in an hr early n went n lepak for an hr b4 dey start d work ? n by d moment dey finish lepak, dey already earned 8.5 usd. By jst LEPAKIN! yeah , it's Rm24 to b precise. N den , dey cn stil get praises by d ppl bcx dey r damn gd in actin in front of d superior. While me , I m still terrible in bondin wit d superior, so i jst worked n worked n worked, hopin for d recognition . but now, no more. thank you , but hell, I m nt a slave to anyone :) I will still work hard, but nt bcx of wantin of recognition , jst self satisfaction n own commitment. One more lesson i need to learn is to b more carefree n knwing how to bend my way in front of d superior( it's time to throw d old chinese principle of mine away ) yeah , I used to b scared of elders n superior. but now, I realized , to get my way , I mst learn to stand equally in front of dem ... still a long way to go for me, bcx i m still terrible in communicatin wit ppl n I mst acquired tat skil asap . haha.

It's really diff. I guess it's bcx of my studious background, whr I mostly learn to stick by d rules n rigidity n booksmart kind of thingy . my street smart suckz. yeah ! to d max! hahaha .

Th's no such thing of you bein a msia-an n ur own country's frens wil help u . Tat's total bullshit.
Here, 1st person tat let me realized I hv to stand on my own is a bunch of stupid cinapek msia-an ., yeah . u heard me. I m now speakin rude words. Sorry , but yeah , I m angry ! So , learnt to b independant n nt to rely on anyone. But , as usual , I m still pretty lucky to hv my current housemates wit me. I guess,I mst thank god for tat.So in d end, i m stil nt totally independant, but next time, i will choose to travel alone:) Waitin to meet anader new culture. hehe

Tat's al for now. am I bein stronger n better now? I m nt sure myself. Only my actions tells.One thing i m sure, Life's a long learnin journey for me n thr's so much for me to learn ..